25 Hilarious Kid’s Jokes

Early last week I received news that one of my husband’s close friends had passed away.  It was the kind of news that rocks you to your core and shakes up all of your feelings.  This time last week I was booking flights for my husband and I to attend his memorial in San Francisco and looking through old, happy photos that were posted online.

One week ago I was searching for a Hawaiian shirt and flip flops, because that is what we were asked to wear to the memorial service.

You see, Nate was unlike most people (you may remember him from basically everywhere for the Rebel Heart rescue – he was the guy who swam with the little girl on his back).  He was just an incredibly funny and happy guy who wanted everyone to laugh and have a good time.  So while we were heartbroken to say goodbye far too early, we enjoyed a fun party and lots of hilarious stories and memories.

While talking to my kids about Nate and his death, I realized that that would be the best time to throw in some cheesy, corny kid’s jokes.  Nate would not have wanted people crying over him, that just wasn’t who he was.  So the kids got to laughing hysterically and rolling around while egging each other on for the next joke and then the next.

And I think that Nate would have loved that.

Here are some of the jokes that we used:

How do you organize a space party?

–You planet early.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

-A gummy bear.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

-Ground beef.

What is a boxer’s favorite drink?

–Fruit punch.

What is a tree’s favorite drink?

–Root beer.

I tried to catch fog yesterday.

–I mist.

Why do bicycles fall over?

–Because they’re two tired.

How does the ocean say hello?

–It waves.

Why does the Mississippi River see so well?

–Because it has four Is.

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

–A tuba toothpaste.

What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

–Nacho cheese.

Want to hear a pizza joke?

–Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

Why do bananas wear sunscreen at the beach?

–So they don’t peel.

Why can’t you tell a joke while standing on ice?

–It might crack up.

What goes woof woof, tick tick?

–A watch dog.

Where do pencils go for vacation?

–Pencil-vania.

What kind of flower is on your face?

–Tulips.

Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?

–Because she will let it go.

What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

–A towel.

What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

–Pointless.

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

–Spelling.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

–A Bulldozer.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

–Frostbite.

I will definitely be keeping these jokes in rotation.  My kids absolutely love to find a sticky note in their lunchbox with a little joke or riddle on it, and these are perfect for that.  I hope that you share them with your little loved ones and spread the laughter.

It really, truly is the very best medicine.